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Workplace

The Eight Types of Zoom Meetings

  1. Somebody worked hard on this report and by criminey you are going to listen to them read every last word of it
  2. Oh, is it your birthday? It’s her birthday, guys! Let’s all sing happy birthday! What, yours is tomorrow? No way! Who else has birthdays? What? Your dog? No way! Who else has dogs? You do? A dachshund? No way!
  3. Two people argue, everyone else relives the long drive home from Thanksgiving at Grandma’s
  4. I did not call this meeting and I am not on the agenda but I am going to commandeer it by sheer force of will
  5. Glenjamin’s unfailing belief that the wifi will somehow reach his kid’s tree fort, which he has decided to work from for some reason, is strangely admirable
  6. HELLO CAN YOU HEAR ME I CAN’T HEAR YOU IS MY MIC EVEN ON THIS STUPID THING I CAN’T HEAR ANY OF YOU I SEE YOUR LIPS MOVING CAN YOU HEAR ME BECAUSE I CAN’T WAIT LET ME TRY THIS BUTTO—
  7. You thought this was a Zoom meeting, but now you’re looking at the invite and the vendors are using a video conferencing app you’ve never heard of, you have to register for an account, wait for a confirmation email, and then install a mysterious third-party app on your computer where the EULA seems to be written in Bulgarian. съжалявам, нещастници!
  8. Nobody has cameras on, and we’re all quietly catching up on email and hoping nobody notices. In other words, identical to essentially any meeting prior to February 2020.

By mattshepherd

I love your story.
You’ve got one. Everybody does. Storytelling is what makes people people, and it’s what makes organizations succeed or fail.
For 40-odd years, I’ve been in love with stories, and I’ve spent a lifetime building structures to help people tell them.